(x) Child
by Eve111
Summary: Ant stared at the infant on the doorstep, mortified. "You have absolutely got to be kidding right? This has to be trolling!" Sparkelz exclaimed. Ant shook his head. "Then what?" AU where Skit is not Ant's son. SparkAnt relationship implied. Don't like, don't read. A child shows up randomly on Sparklez' and Ant's doorstep, even after making it clear that they don't want a child.


AU where Skit is not Ant's child. SparkAnt relationship. Don't read if you don't want.

•••

"Ant everyone keeps thinking we're going to want a child." Sparklez sighed, falling into a couch.

"Notch damn it!" Said Ant, pacing the living room back and forth in front of the fire. "That's not fair! Raising a child is _super_ difficult, and we're two _fathers_ here!"

Sparklez nodded. "Ant.. Let's tell Cupquake that we don't want a Notch damn child ok? Could you get the newspaper?"

Ant frowned. "Oh off course," He complained. "Sparklez can't get up out of his chair, so Ant will do all the work like a _Notch-Damn woman_!

Ant stormed outside, ignoring Sparklez rolling his eyes, before letting out a blood curdling scream.

"Ant what the _nether_ was that for!?" Shouted Sparklez, immediately getting up to see what the problem was.

Ant stared at the infant on the doorstep, mortified.

"You have absolutely got to be _kidding_ right!? This _has_ to be trolling!" Sparkelz exclaimed. Ant shook his head. "Then _what_!?"

Ant bent down and pulled a note from the basket. 'Take Care.'

"Notch… I think it's real… Um… We should probably take it inside…"Ant grabbed the basket and dragged it inside, while Sparklez watched with confusion and horror on his face.

"Ant you didn't drink another gender-swapping potion the last time we had sex, did you?"

Ant scowled, looking up. "Now's not the time for jokes, and anyway, why is it all _my_ fault huh!? What if _you_ did something wrong? What if it has _nothing_ to do with us!?

"Notch, Notch, calm down! Take a joke! It's so-"

"WAAHHH!"

"Crap." Cursed Sparklez.

"We woke the Notch-damn baby! Now it's gonna be a pest!"

"How the _nether_ do you put a baby to sleep!?"

"You don't. Anyway, it might be hungry, not tired. Go get… I don't know.. Cupquake!" Ant ran to the baby and picked it up, bouncing his arms and trying to get him back to sleep, or at least to quiet him. "Shh, shh… Are you hungry?"

•••

Sparklez came back into the house with the only woman he knew. Ant was _still_ struggling with the crying child.

"So you guys adopted _afterall_!" Cupquake grinned in adoration. "Aww so _cute_!"

"We didn't adopt, Notch damn it! This… _Thing_ was on our doorstep!"

Cupquake snickered. "Uh huh." Clearly she didn't believe them. She walked over to Ant and plucked the baby out of his arms. "Daww, the poor things done a poop and didn-" Cupquake didn't get to complete her sentence, as she dodged the incoming vomit. Ant and Sparklez groaned.

"You're cleaning that up!" Cupquake said, handing the baby back to Ant. "Leave me out of it." She gingerly stepped away from the puddle, before going to sit down on a couch. "Good luck." The smugness clear in her voice.

•••

Ant sighed, falling onto the double-cough. "He's _finally_ asleep."

Cupquake snickered, attracting both Sparklez' and Ant's attention.

"What?" They both asked.

"Well, Skit helped a bit."

They both frowned, trying to understand. "With what?"

"Trololololol!" She yelled, standing up and laughing. "The baby is actually my old friend's! I can't believe you guys actually fell for it!"

The couple frowned, annoyed, angry. "_You_ did this!?" Asked Sparklez.

"Yep!"

"With Skit?" Ant was stunned.

"Yep!"

There was a pause.

"Get _out_!" Screamed Sparklez. "Take the stupid baby with you! This was a…" He fell silent, not knowing what to say.

Cupquake looked down, her joy now gone, partially replaced with fear, sadness and guilt. "I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I thought it would be funny."

Ant just stood there, watching silently, not sure what to do.

Sparklez sighed. "Just… Get out." He said calmly.

Cupquake ran up and stairs, and quickly, but gingerly, grabbed the baby, before returning downstairs and leaving. "I'm sorry." She mumbled quietly.

"Just…" Sparklez voice grew louder again. "Get out!"

Ant stared at Sparklez for a few seconds before the pair cracked up. It had actually been quite funny, even if it hadn't been entirely enjoyable.

Outside Cupquake and Skit laughed themselves. That had probably been one of the _best_ pranks they had pulled!


End file.
